Callysra Amex Kerea ~ From the begining

[Callysra Amex Kerea]

Oct 3rd 1980, 5:23 am.

With an angry cry Callysra Amex slid out into the world that was much too cruel for a child. Her mother, Caterina, took her into her arms and kissed her pink forehead. Erix, Callysra’s father, stared down at his new daughter with a small smile. He vowed to himself he would never show his dislike for the child. No matter how much he hand longed for a son, his wife had given him a daughter and he would have to make do.
He gave his wife a kiss on her sweaty mane of hair then left the room, his mind racing with thoughts. How old would his daughter be when she discovered her mother’s secret? How would hey tell her? Would she be like the other normal children her age? Or would she be destined to live as a freak in the cruel unforgiving world that they called home?

May 17th 1984, 3:13 pm.

Little four year old Callysra toddled into her parent’s bedroom where her mother was resting in their large bed. Little Callysra did not, and could not, understand why daddy was so sad, why mommy was sleeping so much, and cried so much.
“Mommy?” was her silent plead for attention. Caterina turned towards her daughter, her naturally light skin pale as death. “Cally, come here baby” she said in a hoarse voice, lifting her arms a few inches off the bed. Callysra scrambled up the mattress, using the blankets as a ladder. She snuggled into her mother’s side, even though it was cold. “I love you mommy,” she said in her innocent voice. Caterina could not help but cry again. She knew she was dying, she knew she wouldn’t make it more than a few days, and soon her daughter would be motherless, with no one to turn to as she grew. The thoughts of her daughter’s future pained her. No child should need to loose a parent.
Though her mother was deep in thought, Callysra was deep in sleep, content against her mother’s body. Though she rarely slept peacefully anymore, her dreams must have been pleasurable because little Callysra slept with a smile.

May 23rd 1984, 5:10 pm.

For the tenth time Callysra asked where mommy was, and for the tenth time her father tried to explain to the four year old that mommy would never come back. After throwing a fit, screaming and crying and pulling her hair, Callysra tried a different approach. With a sweet smile she asked her daddy if she could please visit mommy. She knew if she said please he would allow her.
Erix looked down at his daughter, slightly annoyed at her persistence. How would he be allowed to grieve if she constantly asked where her mother was? It had been only a few hours since Caterina had been laid to rest. Callysra had stayed with a sitter during the process, and did not understand mommy had gone from life. How could a four year old possibly understand?

“Please daddy?” Callysra asked again, her voice teetering towards a whine. Erix could no longer be patient with his daughter. “Mommy is not coming back!” he said coldly, pushing his chair back with a loud scrape as he stood. Callysra burst into tears again at this sudden outburst and ran into a corner, her gray eyes very round.
Erix moved towards the fridge and pulled out an ice cold beer. He ignored his daughter as he walked past the corner she cowered in. After finding the remote he settled heavily in his chair to drink away his problems while his daughter cried herself to sleep in a kitchen corner.

May 27th 1984, 7:14 am.

Ever since daddy had said mommy was not coming back, Callysra had constant nightmares. Mommy was screaming for her, but she couldn’t help. Daddy sat back while she became whiter. Every night Callysra awoke, screaming for her mother. And every night Erix marched into her room, turned on the light, and told her to quiet down, then without a second thought he went back to his room.
Though she was four and hadn’t sucked on her thumb since infancy, Callysra found a source of comfort in her finger and curled up against a pillow sucking on it with all her might. She told herself that the pillow was mommy and that she was telling her to go to sleep. Slowly she drifted off to sleep, alone again. Why wouldn’t daddy kiss her goodnight?

August 7th 1984,1:45 pm.

Callysra, still dressed in her pajamas, ventured outside into the bright hot afternoon. She wished she could play in the hose, or change into a dress, but she couldn’t reach her closet, and daddy hadn’t laid anything out for her.
Clutching a raggedy bear she ran outside, the prickly glass poking at her bare feet. “Daddy?” she called, searching for him. She hadn’t seen him all morning. “Daddy?” she called again. She walked around to the back of the house and her face broke into a grin. Mommy had come back! She thought excitedly. Sitting on the patio were her parents!
“Mommy!” she screeched and ran across the yard, squealing in excitement. Her mother turned around and Callysra stopped dead in her tracks and screamed. It wasn’t her mother daddy had his arms around. It wasn’t her mother he had just kissed while she ran towards them. It was a stranger!
“Daddy!” she wailed, her eyes on the stranger in the yard. Erix stood quickly and walked over to his daughter. “Aww, she is a cutie!” the stranger said with a laugh, then stood up. Her curly light brown hair was tied into a ponytail and dark glasses shielded her eyes.
“Cally, come meet Brandy,” her father said soothingly, pulling her towards the stranger. “No!” Callysra screamed in defiance. She pulled her hand away and screamed again. “Go away!” she screamed, pointing at the stranger in anger. “You’re not my mommy!”
The stranger named Brandy laughed and gave her a sympathetic smile. “No honey, I’m not your mommy, but I will be.” Callysra stared at this woman in confusion. How could she be her new mommy if she only had one? It was then when Erix tried explaining to his daughter that she would only have one real mommy, but she could have other people like mommies too. He explained that Brandy and him were going to get together, just like him and her mommy had, and that they would be a family.
Callysra could not believe her ears. How could her own father abandon her mother like that? She stuck her tongue out at the stranger woman and gave her father an angry look. “I don’t want you to be with her,” she said with a pout, and then ran back inside. She didn’t know why she was so mad, but she felt like screaming. So she did. Then she threw all her toys all over the place and screamed some more. Then she curled up in her bed and cried until she fell back asleep.

November 21st 1984, 3:51 pm.

The wedding of Brandy and Erix had ended in the early afternoon and now everyone was enjoying the reception. Everyone but Callysra, who was sulking in a corner, still clad in her flower girl dress and flower crown. She had been forced to throw roses on a carpet, and then stand still for too long while her father and Brandy stood together. It made her sick. She didn’t want a new mommy.
Family friends and people from her fathers work tried cheering her up. But she refused to smile. She refused to be happy for her father, no matter how much he asked her. She had heard an old couple muttering about her, so she innocently walked by and looked around while she listened. She wasn’t sure what they were talking about, but they said something and then her name. She was sure they had said it was too soon for a change. But she didn’t understand.

November 21st 1984, 8:40 pm.

Erix stood toe to toe with his daughter, ordering her for the hundredth time to go to bed. “No!” she screamed again, then stomped her foot. She was being exceptionally difficult and he had no patience. “Callysra I am going to count to three, if you’re not in bed you’ll be in trouble,” he warned sternly. When he reached three Callysra hadn’t moved an inch. His patience as already worn from the whole day of her tantrums and attitude, he did not want to deal with her defiance about bedtime.
Nearly ready to give up, Brandy walked up behind him. “Go have a beer, I’ll deal with her,” she said with a smile. He couldn’t resist that offer, so he left. Callysra glared at Brandy and scrunched up her face in what she hoped was mean looking. Brandy only laughed and pointed to her bed. “Go, now.” Callysra stuck her tongue out. “I don’t have to listen to you, you’re not my mommy!” Brandy’s eyes narrowed and she bent down to stare the five year old in the face. She had never liked kids much, and never had the patience for them. “You do have to listen to me Callysra, go to bed now!”
Callysra, defiant as ever, stuck her chin out and stood perfectly still. Brandy didn’t have time to argue with the child. She wanted to get back to Erix and away from the brat. She stood up and snatched Callysra up. Immediately Callysra began screaming and howling for her to let go. She pounded her fists into Brandy’s side, scratched at her, tried to bite her, but nothing worked. Brandy was nearly carrying her upside down and she could hardly breathe from all the screaming.
Brandy carried the screaming girl to her bed and dropped her in its center. “I’m going to turn out the lights, and close the door. You are going to stay in bed a go to sleep. If I catch you up you’ll be very sorry.” Callysra nodded mutely, terrified. She didn’t dare refuse that tone of voice. And the way Brandy looked at her made her want to disappear. Brandy smiled, “good,” she said, then shut out the light. “Goodnight” she said coldly, and then shut the door with a bang.
Callysra curled up into a ball, unable to see anything in the pitch black of her room. She let out a muffled sob and it echoed in her empty room. She was all alone now, and she wished her mommy hadn’t left her. After a while Callysra managed to sleep, but had nightmares all night.

December 25th1984, 6:00 am.

Callysra rolled out of bed and skidded down the stairs, unable to contain her glee. It was Christmas, and she was sure her mother had remembered to get her a present. Though she couldn’t yet read, she knew her mother’s handwriting, neat and round. Callysra spent five minutes going through the presents one by one. But none bore her mothers handwriting.
Callysra sat back, her eyes full of tears. Her mother had forgotten her birthday, and now Christmas. Slowly she ripped open her other presents, but she didn’t feel excited anymore. She looked over what she had gotten; a doll, a new dress, a new pair of shoes, hair clips, and a jump rope.
A few minutes later she heard footsteps on the stairs and she knew she had woken Brandy and her father up. They walked into the living room and mumbled “Merry Christmas” to her. She replied, but she didn’t feel merry. “Did you like your presents?” Brandy asked with a smile. Callysra forced herself to nod and her father gave her a stern look. “Give her a hug and say thank you!” he snapped. At his harsh voice Callysra jumped up to do what she was told, then she gathered her things and went back to her room.
For the rest of the day until dinnertime came she stayed in her room and played with her new things. She wasn’t hungry, she was still too upset, but Brandy forced her to change into her new dress and pulled her copper colored hair into tight braids that hurt her head.
“Be a good girl tonight” Brandy warned. Callysra nodded her head automatically, she knew better than to defy Brandy now, the last time she had, she experienced her first smacking, and it hadn’t been fun. Callysra knew Brandy’s friends and family were coming over for dinner. She was supposed to go downstairs and be a good girl. Smile and said please and thank you, finish her dinner, put her plate away, then excuse herself and go back to her room.
Callysra did exactly as she was told. She was used to pretending so it wasn’t hard. Everyone spoke about her and commented on her cute dress, then they forgot about her as they all drank from glasses full of the liquid that made her father angry. She knew its name was wine and she did not want to be around when it took effect on everyone. “May I be excused?” was her barely audible question. But Brandy had been waiting for it, “yes you may, goodnight Callysra.” Brandy kissed her forehead, something she only did when someone was around to watch, then gave her back a pat as Callysra turned to walk upstairs.

January 21st 1987, 6:21 pm.

Seven year old Callysra sat on the front porch of her house, her blanket bound tightly around her. She was bored to death and had wanted to play with the other neighborhood kids in the snow all day, but Brandy had said no. The second time she asked she’d been smacked, and her face still hurt, so she decided not to ask again.
She watched in longing as a girl her age built a snowman across the street. After a while she closed her eyes and leaned her head against the railings. She tried to remember her mothers face, but it was blurry. She had asked her father for a picture the last Christmas, but he had said no. There were no pictures anywhere. The only ones pictured were her father and Brandy on the wall.
Even though she couldn’t remember her mother’s face, if she tried hard enough she could hear her voice. So Callysra closed her eyes and tried to remember it again. “Are you asleep?” Callysra’s eyes shot open and she looked around. The girl across the street was now in front of her holding a snowball. “Want to play?” she asked, holding it out. Callysra wanted to so badly, but Brandy had said no. “I can’t” Callysra replied with a sigh.
The other girl frowned, “I wont tell,” she promised. Callysra shot a quick glance around, Brandy and her father were inside, and they wouldn’t know if no one told. She nodded and shed her blanket, then followed the girl back to her house to play.
In the first five minutes of running in the snow she was sure she was having the most fun ever. She’d never had this much fun. Last year she had played in the snow alone, and it was no fun. This year she hadn’t even been allowed that.
The neighbor girl, Katie, was a good playmate, and was good at making snowballs. After watching the other neighbor kids for the past week, Callysra knew how to have a snowball fight, and she found she was a good aim. “This is fun!” Katie squealed as she pelted Callysra with another cold ball of snow. Callysra nodded her agreement and scooped up a pile of snow. It felt good against her bare fingers. They were numb, and cold, and she felt cold all over, but it felt good. Her edginess had begun to wear off. She hadn’t been discovered yet, and she no longer worried about someone seeing her outside playing,
“CALLYSRA!” The moment she heard Brandy’s angry voice she dropped the snowball that had been in her hand. “Uh oh” Katie murmured from beside her. Callysra took a deep breath and looked over at her house across the street. Brandy was dressed in a robe, her brown hair wild around her face. “Get over here right now!” she yelled. Callysra felt like crying, she knew the moment she was within reach she would get a good beating, then be sent to her room.
“Want me to get my mom?” Katie offered, looking at her new friend worriedly. Callysra desperately wanted to say yes, maybe Katie’s mother could stop Brandy, but she knew she’s be in even more trouble, is that was possible. She shook her head, “thank you for the snowball fight Katie” she muttered, then began walking back towards her house.
Brandy hadn’t moved an inch, but with every second that passed her anger grew. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to play, and-“ her apologies were cut off the moment she was pushed into the warm house. Brandy’s hand felt like fire on her numb face. Everything hurt and tingled and Callysra couldn’t fight the tears that welled in her frozen eyes. “Don’t start with your tears brat” Brandy snapped. She hated tears.
“I just wanted to play” Callysra whispered, hanging her head in shame. Brandy’s anger seemed to explode and she knocked Callysra to the floor with a hard smack. “I told you, you couldn’t leave the porch!” she shouted. Her eyes seemed to glow with hatred. Callysra scrambled backwards, but Brandy was still quicker. She grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

By the time Callysra reached her room, her lip was bleeding, her face was tear stained, and she hurt all over. She took a shuddery breath and curled up in bed. She wasn’t allowed to come downstairs until the next morning, and she was already hungry from all the playing.
She crept into the bathroom to wash her face, and then ran back to her room before she could be caught and threw herself facedown on her bed and screamed. Why couldn’t she be like Katie? She was allowed to play outside and have fun! Callysra was mad at everyone and she never wanted to see Brandy again, but she had thought that the first day she had met her. Callysra’s wish still hadn’t come true and she doubted it would.

February 3rd 1987, 2:30 pm.

Since Brandy would not let her go to school like everyone else, seven year old Callysra was schooled at home. She had finished her work sheets and was now reading a book in her room, being quiet like she was told. She had seen Katie for the first time since their snowball fight, earlier that morning, and had felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe she would be allowed to play if she finished all her homework, she had thought. She had been wrong. At the mention of Katie’s name Brandy had said no, even before Callysra had finished talking.
Callysra set down her book and looked out the window. After a while the snow and houses seemed to blur together and soon they weren’t visible. The window was like a screen for her imagination. She imagined her mother, what she guessed she had looked like, and her father together again. She imagined her toddler self being carried around and all of them having fun.

February 3rd 1987, 6:45 pm.

She wasn’t aware that people had been calling her; she was lost in her daydreams. Only when Brandy shook her did she snap into reality. “Don’t ignore me like that,” Brandy shouted in annoyance. “Sorry” Callysra mumbled, though she really wasn’t. “Sure you are. It’s dinner time, get down to eat.”
As she picked at the food on her plate she found herself slipping into another daydream, this one of her and Katie building a snowman together. Daydreams were nice, Callysra realized. She didn’t have to listen to anyone talking, she didn’t have to listen to rules, she could do anything she wanted without whomever she wanted and it was her choice.
She was sent to her room twenty minutes later for not responding to answers, but Callysra didn’t care, she wanted to continue daydreaming, and exploring the possibilities of her imagination. If she could do this whenever she wanted, she never had to listen to Brandy again.

February 15th 1987, 2:13 am.

Brandy and Erix had gone to a Valentines Day party the night before and had still not returned. Callysra crept out of bed and into their bedroom. She wasn’t allowed in there at any time, and she had wanted to lie on her mother’s side of the bed for a long time. She didn’t know why, but she really wanted to.
After ten minutes Callysra’s heart no longer pounded in the fear that she’d be caught. She was completely relaxed lying right where her mother had been so long ago. She didn’t care if she got caught, because lying in bed she could daydream that her mother was right beside her, and it would be real in her mind.
It was only a matter of time before Brandy and Erix returned and found Callysra asleep on Brandy’s side of the bed. She was awaken with a slap and sent to her room. They were both drunk and she had been lucky. If Brandy had any memory when she re awoke, Callysra was sure to get a few more smacks, but it had been worth it. She felt a renewed closeness with the mother she no longer remembered. And that was worth any punishment Brandy could think of.

February 15th 1987, 3:25 pm.

It turned out Brandy wasn’t drunk enough to have forgotten everything. Callysra had a whole day of work as punishment. Washing dishes, doing all the laundry. Dusting, cleaning the bathroom. She had to shovel the driveway, clean the kitchen, and clean the whole house. But Callysra found she didn’t mind it much. Anywhere she went, she had her imagination, and that meant she could daydream while she worked.
By dinnertime Callysra had completed all her chores, so she was told to make dinner. Callysra had never cooked before and had no clue what she was doing. She sat down at the kitchen table and stared into space blankly. She tried to remember if she’d ever seen anyone cook. She couldn’t remember what to do, so how was she supposed to cook?
She accidentally slipped into another daydream and an hour later when Brandy came to check on her progress she was yelled at. But Callysra didn’t hear a word. She was too involved in her own mind to focus on the outside world.
She did fall back into reality when Brandy smacked her, but only for a moment. When she realized what was happening she quickly invented another daydream to keep from having to deal with Brandy. Finally, half an hour later, she was dragged up to her room and locked in. She hadn’t eaten much all day and was hungry, but she was used to going to sleep with an empty stomach.

[Callysra Amex Kerea]

February 22nd 1987, 12:10 pm.

Since Callysra no longer paid attention to anyone she began to attract attention. A co-worker of her fathers had stopped by and commented on Callysra’s blank stare as she sat on the stairs. He suggested they take her to a doctor, because there was a possibility she was autistic, or had something else wrong. So that was how Callysra ended up beside Brandy and her father in the waiting room of the doctor’s office.


February 22nd 1987, 2:30p pm.

Finally the appointment had finished and Callysra sat in the back of the car staring out the window blankly. But instead of being in a daydream, she was paying attention to her father and Brandy’s conversation about her. She hadn’t paid much attention at the doctor’s office, and now she wanted to know what was wrong. She didn’t feel sick.
“No, this is not going to be open to discussion Erix. We are not going to pay all that money to let her visit a counselor so she can confess her little girl problems and tell her that she gets smacked. You know the cops would get involved if she could prove that, they can’t handle a little discipline of a child.” Her father shook his head, “well look at her Brandy, it’s like she’s empty. I know I haven’t been a good father, but if she can talk to someone then let her.” Brandy slammed her fist on the steering wheel. “Absolutely not. She’s going through a rebellious stage and she thinks that if she tunes us out her problems will go away. We can play her game. If we leave her to herself and her little day dreams then she’ll wake up sooner or later.” Within a few minutes Brandy had convinced her father to give up on her once again, only then did Callysra sink into a daydream.


July 9th 1987, 8:47 pm.

Callysra sat on her bed reading a book she had found in the living room. She didn’t understand some of the words but it was about a teenage girl who left home to live with a friend. Suddenly Callysra’s mind was full of possibilities. What if she did tat when she was a teenager? She’d find a friend, then leave her horrible home and live with that friend. She’d never have to see Brandy again.
Suddenly her imagination, that had been dry for weeks, was full of new ideas. She could plan what to do for the future. She’d have friends, and stand up for herself. She’d never let herself be forced to do anything again. She would never be told what to do, because she’d be older and stronger and smarter.
That night she dreamt of her teenage self, what she imagined she’d be like. And she liked it. She would be loyal only to those that were loyal to her. And she would never ever be pushed around again. No, she would learn how to stand up for herself. Now, all she had to do was wait. Wait until she grew a little older.



October 3rd 1987, 5:10 pm.

Callysra’s 8th birthday was almost over, and she was having so much fun. In exchange for a week of work, she had been allowed to invite one friend over for a few hours. Katie was the only person she’d ever played with that she could remember, so at two o’clock she had knocked on her door and invited her over.
So far they had jumped in piles of leaves, played hide and seek, played dress up, and so many other things. Callysra could not believe her luck. She wouldn’t get in trouble for playing with Katie, and they were having so much fun.
When Brandy said Katie had to go home Katie hugged Callysra goodbye. She hadn’t been hugged for a long, long time. “Bye Cally!” she said with a smile, then skipped down the porch and back to her house where her mother was waiting.
Callysra was so happy. She had played all day, and gotten a small cake, and gotten a hug from a friend. It was such a new experience; she wanted to try it again. She hopped into the living room where Brandy was watching TV and stood in front of her. “Thank you Brandy!” she said with a large smile. “Yeah, sure, I can’t see Callysra, move.”
Callysra frowned; she had just said thank you and Brandy didn’t care. “I had a lot of fun,” she continued, wanting Brandy to know how much she had enjoyed it. Brandy nodded and ignored her. “Well… I’m going upstairs” Callysra said, then bounced on the couch and hugged Brandy around the shoulders.
As if Callysra had done something horrible, Brandy shoved her aside and stood up. “What was that for brat?” she snapped, and then clicked off the TV. “Go to your room already!” Callysra was shocked. She was trying to be nice to Brandy, for once. She had never hugged her by choice, and now that she was, Brandy was telling her to go to her room.
Callysra’s good mood diminished as she trudged up the stairs. “See if I ever be nice again” she muttered under her breath. She was upset. The one time she tried to be nice to Brandy, tried to accept this new nice Brandy, she was disappointed. “I’m never hugging her again!” she told her reflection in the mirror. She stared at her growing copper hair; it was almost to the middle of her back.
Callysra fingered her locks with a frown. She wanted to change it, because she felt like she wanted to change. She was eight years old now. And it wasn’t only her age that had changed. She didn’t want to be nice anymore; she wanted to just ignore everyone because they didn’t care about her. Why should she care about them?

After sneaking into the bathroom and taking the scissors Brandy kept in there, she ran back to her room and shut the door. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to look like, but she knew she wanted shorter hair. Callysra grabbed a fistful of her hair and began snipping away at it.
Ten minutes later she was covered in hair, and so was her floor. She had successfully chopped off several inches of her hair and it was now right below her thin shoulders. She smiled at herself proudly. It didn’t look too bad at all. In fact it was almost even. Callysra liked the new her, she looked a little tougher, and she looked much different.
Next she went to her closet and took out all the clothes. She went through it all and stuffed all the little girly clothes in a big bag. She didn’t want it anymore. She looked back at her bed to see what remained. Several oversized t-shirts laid on the bed, crumpled into a ball. Along with them were jeans that Katie’s mom had given her because they no longer fit Katie.
Since she didn’t eat well, Callysra didn’t grow well. She had long legs, but wasn’t very tall. While Katie was getting a little chubby, Callysra was really thin. She liked the jeans a lot; they looked good with the t-shirts. She had some sweaters left, along with a black and white lace tank top she really liked. She couldn’t remember when she’d gotten it, but it was nice.
She found herself keeping only the darker colored clothing. It seemed right for some reason. She didn’t want to wear bight and cheery colors anymore, because she wasn’t bright and cheery.
After putting all her clothes away, she scooped up the hair all over her floor and threw it in a garbage bin by her bed. She wondered what hey father, and Brandy, would say. She would probably get in trouble, but the couldn’t do anything now, it was already gone.


Oct 4th 1987, 8:25 am.

Callysra trotted downstairs to get herself breakfast. She walked into the kitchen she mumbled good morning, then opened the fridge. As she pulled out the milk she saw her fathers horrified stare. “What?” she demanded, and then busied herself with getting out the cereal, bowl, and a spoon. Before her father could completely comprehend what she had done to her hair, Brandy walked in.
“What in the-!” Brandy snatched up and fistful of Callysra’s hair and pulled her out of her seat. “What did you do?” she cried. Callysra smiled up at Brandy proudly, “I like it.” Brandy had never imagined the child would do such a thing, and did not know how to react. “In your room!” she yelled, pointing to the staircase. Callysra shook her head, “I’m going to eat breakfast,” she replied flatly, then ate a spoonful of cereal.
“I said go to your room,” Brandy repeated, pronouncing each word slowly. “And I said I was going to eat breakfast, I will go after I’m done” Callysra replied coldly. She was still angry with Brandy from the night before. “You are an ungrateful child Callysra. I let you bring your little friend over and play all day. You had a fun birthday, and a cake. And then you chop off your hair in return? And then you don’t listen to me. That’s the last birthday party you’ll ever have!” Callysra jumped out o her seat, knocking it over. She straightened to her full height and crossed her arms, staring Brandy in the eye. “I was grateful! And I thanked you last night, and I even tried to hug you, but you didn’t care! Why should I listen to you?” she screamed angrily, furious tears welling in her eyes.
“Finish your breakfast you monster” Brandy hissed, then turned around and walked out of the room. Callysra threw herself back down in her char with a huff and began spooning cereal into her mouth angrily. She hadn’t done anything wrong.
She avoided her father’s shocked stare as he stared over the paper at her. She didn’t care what he thought either, he never stood up for her. As far as she was concerned she had no parents anymore, and she didn’t have to listen to anyone else.



Oct 4th 1987, 4:30 pm.

Callysra was dead set on ignoring Brandy, and she knew just how to do it. She would do whatever she wanted, and then before she could be told different, she’d go to her room. No one could tell her what to do if she chose to do it herself.
Callysra changed into an outfit she’d picked out herself, then ran outside to play in the leaves. Katie was playing across the street and spotted her. “Cally!” she yelled, then ran over to her friend. When she reached Callysra her eyes widened, “your hair!” she cried, pointing at it in shock. Callysra beamed at her friend, “I did it myself!” she announced proudly. Katie’s eyes got a little rounder, “you did? Did you get in trouble?” she whispered. Callysra nodded again and shrugged her shoulders, “its ok they can’t do anything about it.”
Callysra played with Katie for an hour and when she saw the upstairs curtains being pushed aside she knew Brandy had spotted her. “I should go in now,” Callysra said apologetically. Katie nodded and gave her a hug, then ran back to her own house.
Callysra could imagine Brandy’s feet pounding down the stairs, heading towards the door, so she ran. She made it to the back of the house before Brandy reached the outside door. When Brandy called her name furiously, she was already running back up the stairs to her room.
When Brandy threw open her door to punish her, Callysra turned her face away and imagined she was outside playing with Katie again. She was hit, twice, then Brandy went away angry. She could no longer get the response out of Callysra she used to. It was like hitting a doll.


October 31st 1987, 7:21 pm.

Never in all her life had she been allowed to go trick or treating. And never would she be allowed to, she imagined. But she wasn’t listening to what she was and was not allowed to do. Callysra changed into a black dress, since she didn’t have a costume, and then snuck out of the house.
She didn’t even know how to trick or treat. Brandy and her father never answered the door when kids dressed up as different things knocked on it. And she’d never gotten the courage to ask if she could go. But not anymore, tonight, she decided, she would not need permission. She was going to go roam the streets alone, staying out of trouble, and out of the view of adults.

As Callysra crept around the streets of her neighborhood, she felt empowered. No one knew where she was; she was in charge of herself. No one could tell her what to do; she couldn’t get in trouble all the way out here. She was free, even if that freedom was only a few hours long.
She stayed in the cover of bushes, or walked in the center of groups of kids. No one would be able to pick her out. She even gathered the courage to walk up to a house she didn’t know and ask for candy. Instead of a bag she held out her cupped hands. The kind owners of the house filled her hands with candy and she thanked them then scurried off before she could be recognized. She stashed the candy in she dress’s pocket and went in search of total solitude.
She could vaguely remember a park she had often gone to as a child. She wasn’t sure its exact location, but she knew which direction to walk. After ten minutes she saw it, and it was all too sweet. She wondered if this was a daydream, and if it was, she wanted to remember it forever.
She ran down the street, ignoring the children that were running past her in search of more candy. She ran to the playground and stared at it in awe. She hadn’t played on it for years, not since right after her mother had died. Callysra ran up the steps that led to the tower the top of the slide was in. She sat in its corner in the compete darkness and sighed in content, she was still free, and it was a very real daydream.
She dumped the candy on the ground in front of her and felt around in the darkness for each piece. Slowly she began unwrapping them, they tasted delicious. They melted in her mouth; or were too hard to chew. One was so sour she spit it out in surprise. This really would surely be the best day of her new life, she thought.
Being alone on the streets wasn’t scary at all. She could remember her father preaching her about strangers, and dangers for a child, but she didn’t worry. For an unknown reason she felt safe, and no stranger would get close enough to her, she would be running the other direction the moment she felt threatened. No, not in danger, just threatened. She couldn’t risk the chance of being caught.


November 1st 1987, 10:27 am.

“Where were you?” Brandy demanded again. She had been asking the same question all morning, but Callysra had not spoken a single word. She had been sitting in the same chair, unable to get up. Her legs were asleep and strange sensations ran through them when she fidgeted.
Since she had awoken she hadn’t said a word of explanation. She had been hit, punished, her toys had been taken away, but she refused to speak. Brandy was in a fit of rage. How dare the brat defy her, and sneak out f the house! Erix stood his distance, staring at his daughter in pity. He knew it was his fault she was like this, and he could not help her. He felt guilty, for abandoning her when she most needed him. He had brought Brandy in, knowing she disliked children. He had thought she was amazing, for accepting Callysra. And now, he could not save his own daughter from her. He desperately hoped there was something better out there for Callysra, because he knew with her stubbornness she could not last much longer with Brandy. The older she got the more independent she got.
At last Callysra was allowed to leave her chair and she walked up the stairs in complete silence. She didn’t even cry when she reached her bed. She just sat on it and stared at her wall blankly. Her mind was remembering her nights adventure. It had been exhilarating, and exciting, and most of all… it had been real. She could make it alone…


March 5th 1988, 7:00 pm.

Callysra sat on her front porch, enjoying the cool night despite the fact Brandy and her father were nearby in the lawn. Her facial features gave the impression she was interested on what they were doing, but her mind was quick at work. Every since that Halloween night she had felt different. An idea had come to her. She had proven she could make it on her own, and what if… What if she left? Instead of waiting until she was a teenager, she could leave now, take some clothes, and some food, and run away. And even if she got caught, she would refuse to ever go back home. Ad she would keep on running away. Someone would have to do something about it, wouldn’t they?
Callysra was sure she had heard her father talking to Brandy about people that took kids away from bad homes, and if her home wasn’t bad, she sure didn’t want to see what was. Callysra had a plan, she would make Brandy very angry, and Brandy would hit her, again and again. And when Callysra was bruised enough, she would go to her room. And that night she would run away. If those people that took children away from bad places saw her, they would certainly know she had a bad home.


March 7th 1988, 5:43 pm.

Callysra had been a bad girl in the eyes of Brandy. She had not finished her food. She had not washed the dishes, or cleaned her room, or cleaned the bathroom. All day she had just sat on the couch watching TV, not listening to anyone. She hid the remote and turned it on every time someone shut it off. She was being a brat and she needed to be disciplined.
Brandy had spanked Callysra. Smacked her, thrown her down. But Callysra had not run away, the stubborn child had just picked herself back up and looked at Brandy with a vicious smile, far too mature for a child her age. It was as if she was planning something.
“To your room!” Brandy shouted again. She knew it was useless by now, the little horror never listened. Callysra crossed her arms and stuck her chin out defiantly. “Make me,” she taunted. Brandy sighed in exasperation, “If that’s what you really want, then fine.”
Brandy grabbed hold of Callysra’s wrist tightly and yanked her off her feet. Dragging Callysra, Brandy made her was to the staircase. Callysra bit her lip to keep from crying out in pain. Brandy pulled her along as if she was a limp rag doll. Her legs crashed into to each stair as she was dragged up to her room.
Once Brandy had dragged the child to her room she dropped her onto the ground and caught her breath. Callysra laid unmoving on the floor, smiling up at Brandy. Brandy could no longer contain her temper. The child was a monster, and she hated children. Why was she putting up with this? She wondered.
“Get on your bed you little slut!” she yelled, and then kicked at Callysra’s ribs. Her foot came in contact with Callysra’s stomach instead and knocked the breath out of her. She couldn’t hold in her squeal of pain when Brandy kicked her again, this time just barely missing her eye. Pain throbbed across her face and her vision went dizzy.
Callysra could hear Brandy yelling things at her, but she couldn’t focus. Brandy was still kicking her, and the pain was making her dizzy. She didn’t move, even when Brandy had been pulled off her by Erix. Callysra stared up at him blankly as he held Brandy’s arms tightly to keep her from attacking the child again. He had at least kept Brandy from killing his daughter, but that was all he could do. “Just leave her, Brandy!” he shouted coldly, pushing Brandy away. Brandy slapped him across the face, and then marched downstairs.
Erix looked down at his daughter, guilt obscuring his thoughts. “I’m sorry honey, come here” he said softly, and then kneeled down and held out his arms. Callysra’s eyes widened, he was the last thing she wanted, in her mind he was as bad as Brandy. “No!” Callysra hissed, then scrambled away from him. She slammed the door to her room and threw herself down onto her mattress and screamed into her pillow.
She waited until she heard his footsteps walking back down the stairs. When she heard no noise at all she began packing. She had found one of Brandy’s very large purses and she had already stuffed food in it. She threw in jeans and t-shirts and socks, and another pair of shoes. Once everything was packed she changed into another outfit and went into the bathroom. Her eye was purple and it hurt when she touched it. Her mouth was bleeding so she slurped up some water from the faucet then spit it back out.


March 7th 1988, 10:31 pm.

Callysra snuck down the stairs, Brandy’s big purse over her shoulder. She slipped on her new tennis shoes and crept out the door. It was pitch black outside and a little cold. She wished she had brought her sweater, but she could never go back in her house. She ran down the street and ducked into an alley at the end of the block.
After a little while she reached the park she had gone to Halloween night. That was where she was going to live, she had decided. At least for that night, then she was going to follow some cars to find a new park; she was too close to home.


March 8th 1988, 6:00 am.

After waking up early Callysra gathered up her things and slid down the slide. She quickly began walking away from the park. She had to get away from her neighborhood before a neighbor saw her. She stared at the intersection sign. It had four directions on it, but she didn’t know which to follow. After a few minutes of staring at it she decided to take a right.
After ten minutes of walking she had come to a street that was already buzzing with activity. A few people were walking across it. Several cars were driving by quickly. Callysra froze temporarily, what if a car hit her? She wondered in horror. Then she would have to go to the hospital, and then back home.
Coming up with an idea, Callysra stepped behind an older man that was ready to cross the street. She followed behind him silently as he began walking across the road. Horns honked, people yelled out their car windows, but she didn’t turn her head. She just watched the older mans legs move in front of her until she was across.
The man never noticed her and he continued walking down the sidewalk. Without a second thought, Callysra trailed behind him. Her heart was pounding and she was extremely nervous. She didn’t know where she was going, but she had no idea what else to do but follow the old man.
For several minutes she tip toed behind him, staying un noticed. But when he abruptly turned a corner and dropped his glasses, she automatically bent over to pick them up for him. “Thank you sweetheart” he said with a smile as he took them back from her. She nodded in response and realized he would wonder way she was alone. Callysra felt like hitting herself in the head. If she had just stayed back he still wouldn’t have seen her.
“Where’s your mommy and daddy?” he asked with a frown, scanning their surroundings. What was she supposed to answer? He would surely make her go home if she told him the truth. “I’m going to go get them” she lied quickly, and then ran off. The old man called after her, but she continued running until she could duck into another street and out of his view.
Callysra sighed in disappointment. What could she do now? She had almost been caught as a runaway. How long would she be able to keep it up without getting caught?

The day wore on and Callysra walked down unfamiliar streets in search of another park she could rest at. She was at least pleased with the weather. Even though she had been walking for a long time, she wasn’t very hot. The cold morning had turned into a cool afternoon and the breeze was nice. But she was hungry, and thirsty, and she needed to stop and get things out of her bag.
After a while longer she walked past a big store and stopped to look at it. After a few moments of thought she ran into it and asked a clerk where the bathrooms were. He pointed the way and she ran in the direction she was told.
She stayed in the store’s bathroom for nearly an hour. She drank out of the water bottle she’d brought, and then re filled it at the water fountain. She washed her face and combed her hair, then ready to set out again. Already she had gotten several strange looks from women as they came to use the bathroom.


March 8th 1988, 8:45 pm.

Callysra couldn’t walk a single step more, she thought. But that had been two hours before. Now she had renewed energy. She had walked on, without stumbling onto a park. So she stopped and asked a little girl that was playing in her yard if there was a park nearby.
The girl had pointed the way and Callysra had followed her finger. And five minutes later she came across it. It was smaller than the one by her home, but it would be perfect. She climbed up to the tallest platform and sat down. She was exhausted, and her legs hurt. After eating an apple and a granola bar, she took a sip of her water and settled down. Brandy’s purse wasn’t a comfortable pillow, but it was all she had.
Callysra shut her eyes and within minutes she was asleep. Her dreams were plagued with her father and Brandy, and what she guessed was her mother, she couldn’t remember anymore. She tossed and turned and woke several times. But it was too dark out to continue walking.
When she re awoke again she dreamt she was in a bright room. A very bright room. Callysra opened her eyes but was blinded by a circle of white light. She shielded her eyes with her hands, wondering what was happening. She heard a mans voice and pressed her back against the wooden wall to the platform. “Where’s your parent’s?” the man asked kindly. “I can’t see!” Callysra whined, her eyes hurt from the white light, and she wanted to see who was talking to her.
The light turned away and point towards the ground and Callysra saw who was holding it. A cop. Like the ones on TV that arrested the bad people when they did something wrong. “I didn’t do anything!” Callysra protested. “I know honey. Alright, what’s your name?” The man replied with a small chuckle. Callysra blinked several times, to be sure she wasn’t dreaming. “Callysra” she replied. “And your last name?” the officer asked. Callysra shot him a dirty look, “why do you want to know?” He laughed and shook his head, “okay Callysra. Why are you out so late?” he asked.


The officer soon found Callysra was difficult to deal with, so he lifted her up and snatched up Brandy’s purse, then carried her down the platform. She was handed to another officer, who was waiting on the ground. Callysra fought halfheartedly, but her legs hurt even worse than when she had fallen asleep, and she was tired.
The officer carried her to a car with flashing lights and put her in the backseat. A cage separated the front from the back and Callysra began to cry. She was being locked up, even though she hadn’t hurt anyone or done anything wrong.
The two officers got in the car and it started with a loud growl. Through her tears, Callysra peeked through the cage to look at the clock. It was 2:10 am. They drove into a parking garage and parked the car in a row full of identical vehicles. One of the officers opened the door while the other pulled her out of the back. She was still half asleep.
They carried her into their station and set her down on the couch. After giving her hot chocolate and a sandwich they began to question her. “Where do you live Callysra?” The one that had carried her in asked. She shook her head, ignoring his question, and took a bite out of the sandwich. “Honey, where are your parents?” Callysra set down her sandwich and glared at each officer, “I don’t have any parents!” she hissed. The officer sighed and gave her a sympathetic look, “how did you get so bruised up then?” He asked, touching a finger to her throbbing black eye. Callysra pulled away with a gasp of pain and cowered against the couch.
“We’re not going to hurt you Callysra, we’re trying to help you. So tell us what we can do.” Callysra shook her head, “you’re cops!” she spat. “You arrest bad people, not help them.” One of the officers chuckled, “do you know why we arrest the bad people?” he asked. Callysra thought for a moment, and then shook her head. “Because we’re helping the good people that the bad people hurt.” Callysra tried to understand his answer as she finished her sandwich.
Even though he could be lying, she was exhausted and didn’t feel like fighting back anymore. “I ran away,” Callysra whispered. The officer’s eyebrows rose slightly, “how old are you?” he asked. “Eight” was Callysra’s proud response. “Okay. Why does an eight year old run away? Did your mommy or daddy give you those bruises?”
Within a few minutes they had asked several questions, all of which she mumbled answers to. With each reply they seemed to get more and more upset. “So your step mommy hits you?” The officer asked, clarifying it. Callysra huffed, “she’s not my mommy, she’s just Brandy. And yes.” The offices traded looks and then one of them stood up and walked out of the room. “What’s your name?” Callysra asked suspiciously. “My name’s John,” the officer replied automatically, though he wasn’t really paying attention. He was dialing a number on his phone.


March 9th 1988, 12:06 pm.

A woman had come to pick Callysra up from the police station, and Callysra was relieved to see it wasn’t Brandy. After they promised her she wouldn’t go back home, Callysra followed the woman out. John and the woman talked rapidly as Callysra trailed behind them, clutching Brandy’s purse to her side tightly.
She was led out to another car and asked to wait in the backseat. When the woman got in she turned to Callysra and smiled. “Hello Callysra, my name is Stacy, it’s nice to meet you.” Callysra tried to hold in a laugh as the woman reached her hand across the seat and shook Callysra’s. When Callysra’s didn’t reply Stacy straightened in her seat and started the engine. “I’m going to take you to someone else’s house, and they are going to take care of you, okay?” Callysra didn’t reply. She was thankful she wasn’t going back to her own home, but would someone else’s be any better? She didn’t think so.
After a long time of staring out the window, Callysra fell asleep. When she woke up, Stacy was nudging her shoulder. “We’re here,” she said, giving Callysra a little shake. Callysra pulled away in annoyance, she didn’t like to be touched, and now she was awake enough to fight back if she needed.
When Callysra stepped out of the car a large black dog greeted her. He knocked her against the side of the car and began licking her enthusiastically. She stood rigid in fear. She’d never been near a dog, never touched one. Brandy hated animals and her childhood wish of having a puppy had been denied. After a few moments Callysra forced herself to relax and pet the dog. “That’s Onyx,” a woman said.
Callysra looked up into the eyes of an un-familiar woman. She had light blue eyes and blonde wavy hair that went down her back. “I’m Aarina,” she greeted with a smile. Callysra found herself smiling back, even though she didn’t know the woman. She tried to guess her age, but couldn’t decide. She looked a little older than Brandy, and Brandy was almost thirty. “And this,” the woman said, standing up and motioning to the man standing beside Stacy, “is my husband Xander.” The man smiled at Callysra and gave her a small nod. Callysra nodded back and returned her attention to Onyx. If they had a dog they couldn’t be so bad.

After Stacy spoke with the man and woman for a few minutes, she waved goodbye to Callysra and drove away. Callysra’s heart began to beat a little faster. She was completely alone with strange people. “Come inside, are you hungry?” Callysra nodded and meekly followed Aarina inside the house. When she walked in her eyes widened to take in her surroundings. The house was much bigger than her own. The walls were a light gray color and paintings hung on the wall.
Callysra followed the woman into the kitchen, the man, Xander, had disappeared. “What would you like to eat? A sandwich?” Aarina asked. Callysra nodded in reply and hesitantly sat on a chair by the table. At least Onyx had stayed beside her, so she focused all her attention on the dog.
A few minutes later Aarina handed Callysra her sandwich, then sat down across from her. Shyly, Callysra devoured her sandwich then put the plate on the table. “Thanks” she mumbled under her breath. Aarina nodded and studied her from a minute. “Does your eye hurt?” she asked, touching her own finger to her eye. Callysra caught herself before saying yes. She was eight years old, not a baby. A little bruise shouldn’t hurt. She shook herself and looked down at the ground.
After a few awkward moments of silence Aarina stood up, “Stacy is going back to your house to get all your things, but in the mean time why don’t you come with me and see your new room?” Callysra nodded and followed Aarina silently.
As she was led through the house Callysra tried to take in as much as she could. There was hardly a surface on the walls that wasn’t plastered with photographs or paintings. Designs were painted across the wall and mirrors decorated hallways.
“The bathroom is in there,” Aarina said, gesturing towards a small door. Callysra tried to memorize its place, but she had to hurry to keep up with Aarina. She followed the woman up a flight of stairs and down the hall to a white door. “Here we are” Aarina said warmly, and then allowed Callysra to walk in before her. Callysra’s breath caught in her throat as she looked around. This was hers?
The walls were all white, which she wasn’t fond of, but the rest was amazing. A large bed sat in the corner, two nightstands beside it. One small wall was hidden by a massive bookshelf, though it was empty, Callysra imagined all the books that could fit. A large dresser was on the opposite side of the room, along with a door that she assumed was the closet. A large window gave a view off the backyard, which she realized was covered in trees. A window seat, nicely decorated, lined the wall.
Callysra stared at it all, her mouth hanging open slightly. How long would she be able to stay here she wondered? Shyly she asked the woman, who was standing beside her. Aarina smiled, “do you want to go back to your home?” she asked. Callysra shook her head angrily, “no!” she shouted before she could stop herself. Aarina nodded, “if you like it here, and if a few other people agree, you can stay her forever.” Callysra took a look around the room again, and then looked at Aarina. Would she be like Brandy?
As if the woman could read her mind, Aarina kneeled down so she was level with Callysra and gave her a kind smile. “I don’t know what you’ve gone through all your life, but I am sure it wasn’t easy. I can promise you we wont be like that Callysra. If you stay, you will see that for yourself.” Callysra nodded and bit her lip, disgusted with herself. She was being a baby, and she knew it. Tears began to well in her eyes. Why were these people being nice to her? She hadn’t done anything to deserve kindness at all. What made them different than everyone else?
“Do you want to be alone?” Aarina asked kindly, putting a hand on the child’s shoulder. She felt horrible for the child, she had been through an insane ordeal all her life, and she was so distrusting and withdrawn. Aarina was determined to make her feel at home.
Callysra shook her head, for some reason she liked Aarina’s company. Aarina smiled and gave Callysra a nod. “Okay, Xander is going to bring up your bag, you left it in the kitchen. And then you can unpack whatever you have in there.” Callysra nodded and moments later the man appeared at the door. “Here you go,” he said, handing the bag to Callysra. She took it with a quiet thanks then walked over to her bed. After unzipping it she dumped its contents out. There wasn’t much.
“Do you want help?” Aarina asked, still standing by the door. Callysra shook her head and busied herself with re-folding the few pairs of clothes she had. “Okay, I’ll sit right over here then” Aarina replied, then sat down on the window seat and watched the girl work.
Aarina watched as the child hurried over to her new dresser and neatly arrange the clothes in drawers. A small smile played on Callysra’s lips as she looked at her room again, it was all hers. Aarina studied the girl, a sympathetic smile on her face. She had no idea about her true past, her true future. She was better off with them, where she could learn what she needed.

[Callysra Amex Kerea]

March 9th 1988, 5:20 pm.

The day had passed in a blur and Callysra was exhausted. But the day wasn’t yet over and she still had much more to do. Aarina and Xander took her to a store so she could but new clothes, and other things she would now need. Callysra couldn’t remember ever shopping for her own things and she embarrassingly admitted she needed help. Aarina just smiled and helped with whatever she needed.
Even though Callysra ha never been shopping, she still knew about money. She could remember Brandy and her father arguing about it constantly. Callysra was hesitant to point out anything she wanted. They were already being so nice to her, she felt like she was pushing her luck asking for anything, so instead Aarina pointed to nearly every single item in the store asking if she liked it or wanted it.
By the time that night came in Callysra had so many new things she couldn’t believe it. Aarina and Xander had bought her several new outfits, and books. Quill and parchment, to write with, and other things she could use to pass the time.
When Callysra arrived back at her new home two bags full of her things were sitting on the front porch. With Xander and Aarina’s help, everything was carried to her new room. Xander left to make dinner while Aarina helped Callysra put things away.
Slowly Aarina was drawing out things from Callysra’s childhood with innocent questions. She noticed whenever she pried too far Callysra’s attitude changed and she stopped speaking completely. As if she had shut down, Callysra’s face turned into a blank stare and she didn’t seem to hear a word that was spoken to her.
An hour later everything had been put away neatly and it was time for dinner. Callysra noticed the looks Xander and Aarina constantly exchanged and suddenly her calm diminished. She felt nervous, what if they sent her back home? She didn’t want to leave; she liked her new things, and her new room.
When dinner finished Callysra was nearly asleep in her plate. Xander carried her up the stairs and set her down on her bed. “Goodnight Callysra” he said with a small smile, then left the room. Aarina and Callysra sat in silence for a moment, and then Aarina leaned forward and kissed the child’s forehead. “Goodnight sweet,” she whispered, then pulled the covers over the child’s body. “Sleep well. If you need anything our room is right across the hall from yours.”

March 12th 1988, 12:15 pm.

The days had passed like a dream. Already Callysra felt at home with Xander and Aarina. In the mornings she woke up to Aarina sitting beside her bed. She went down for breakfast and changed, then did whatever she pleased. Aarina explained that when she got used to everything she would have her own chores to do, but there wouldn’t be many. During the mornings Xander left to work, it was only Aarina and Callysra until after lunch.
Callysra found that she enjoyed drawing and writing almost as much as she did reading. She never had a bored moment. On the third day at her new home she explored the backyard with Onyx, who was always by her side now. There were no neighbors next door, both houses beside them had been abandoned for years and no one wanted to move into them.
Callysra still thought she might be in a dream, everything was just too good. Nearly everything was perfect, the only thing that made her nervous were the constant looks Aarina and Xander exchanged. What were they trying to tell each other? She wondered suspiciously. She had never had to guess what someone was thinking, especially around her father and Brandy. Because Brandy always yelled it and her father always walked away before Callysra could see him.
That afternoon, before Aarina and Callysra ate lunch, Callysra gathered the courage to ask. “Why do you and Xander always look at each other strangely when you’re around me?” She asked quietly, hoping Aarina wouldn’t get mad. Aarina sighed and studied the child; she was very perceptive. “Am I doing something wrong?” Callysra asked in a small voice. A startled laugh escape Aarina and she shook her head, “no honey, of course not.” Callysra sighed, slightly relieved, “then why do you do that?”
After Aarina assured her she was doing nothing wrong, again, Callysra became afraid. Aarina was not answering her question. Instead of eating Callysra pushed her plate away and ran up to her room. She laid down on her bed, angry tears streaming down her face. Maybe it really was too good to be true.
After a few minutes Aarina walked into her room and sat down beside her. “Callysra, what’s wrong?” she asked softly. Callysra turned away from her and quickly swiped away at the tears streaming down her face. “You won’t answer my question!” She replied through her tears. “Well, that’s because I don’t know how to. But that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong,” Aarina soothed.
Callysra turned back towards Aarina, “why don’t you know how to tell me?” she asked in confusion. Aarina sighed and thought for a moment before she answered. “Well, I know some things about when you were little, some that you don’t know. And you will know, in time, but when you are a little older, or at least a little more settled in.” Callysra sat up, “but I want to know now!” she protested. Aarina smiled, “okay, how about we make a little deal?” Callysra nodded, studying Aarina curiously.
“Right now you don’t trust Xander and I completely, because we look at each other strange around you, right?” Callysra nodded in reply. “Well we can’t tell you what we know, until you trust us. So when you do trust us all the way, which will take a little time, then we can tell you.” Callysra crossed her arms and thought for a moment. That was confusing, and it made her head hurt. “But how can I trust you if you wont tell me?” Callysra asked. Aarina laughed, “as time passes, you’ll see we wont let anything happen to you, and we will take good care of you and be fair, and then you will trust us. Does that sound fair?” Callysra wasn’t sure if it was fair or not, but she accepted it anyway. She didn’t want to argue with Aarina. After shaking Aarina’s hand, which Aarina said sealed their deal, they both went back down to their lunches.

@
July 10th 1988, 7:36 pm.

The months had passed by quickly, turning into a hot summer. With each day that passed Callysra relaxed more and more. Aarina taught her several things during the day, so she was never bored. Onyx was her best friend, even though he was a dog. Everywhere Callysra went, Onyx followed. At night he slept beside her, while she read or wrote, he laid at her feet. Callysra often though about the deal she had with Aarina, and she was sure that she trusted them, but Aarina had said much more time had to pass, so reluctantly Callysra stopped asking.

Callysra sat with Aarina outside, the sun hadn’t yet set and she preferred the outdoors. Aarina had told her that they had good news and as soon as Xander came home from work, they would tell her. The whole day Callysra wondered what the news could be, but she couldn’t figure it out.
When Xander finally arrived Callysra sat patiently at the table, waiting for them to tell her. “Remember when you first came here, and I told you that if you wanted, and if a few other people agreed, you could stay here forever?” Aarina asked with a smile. Callysra nodded, her heart beating a little e faster. “Well those people agreed. So now under official words, we have adopted you.” Callysra sat silently for a moment. She knew what adoption was, she had read about it in on of her books. She was tying to figure out if that was good or bad. Would things change now that she was adopted?
“Are you okay honey?” Aarina asked in concern. Callysra nodded and forced herself to smile, “that is nice. May I go to my room?” Despite Aarina’s concerned frown, she allowed Callysra to leave. Callysra nodded then ran to her room and shut the door. She was afraid. What if thins did change because she was adopted now? She didn’t want anything to change; she liked her life the way it was now.
Callysra predicted that in a few minutes Aarina would knock on her door, and she had been right. Aarina walked in and shut the door softly behind her. “Are you upset?” she asked softly. Callysra shook her head and turned her head back out the window. “Onyx, move” Aarina said with a laugh as the dog jumped up from where he was laying and pushed against her leg. Obediently the dog moved off and went to lie by the door.
“Well if you’re not upset, tell me why you are not happy,” Aarina said as she said down across from Callysra. After a few moments of silence Callysra shook her head. “See? You still do not trust us.” Callysra sighed in annoyance. That wasn’t fair. Just because she didn’t want to talk, didn’t mean she didn’t trust them. To prove her wrong Callysra turned to Aarina and forced a smile.
“I’m not happy because things can change. Now that I am adopted, things could start to change, and I don’t want anything to change.” A stray tear slid down her cheek and Aarina flicked it away gently. “Why would things change just because it became official?” she asked softly. Callysra sighed, “Because things always change.” Aarina gave a small laugh, maybe the child did read too much. Aarina pulled Callysra into a tight hug and arranged her messy copper hair neatly. It was growing out at different angles and was certainly not even.
After a few minutes Callysra pulled away and wiped her face dry. “So tings won’t change?” she asked, she wanted to hear Aarina say it, just to be certain. Aarina shook her head, “I cannot guarantee you things will not change at all. But I will not change what you have just because of one word.” Satisfied with her answer, Callysra nodded and gave her a hug before sliding off her window seat.


August 8th 1988, 4:29pm.

Being adopted didn’t change anything, just as Aarina has promised. Callysra still did her chores, still got to go to her room to do as she pleased, Onyx still adored her. There was only one thing that had changed, she had been given more freedom. Aarina trusted Callysra, and Callysra had given her every reason to.
After she had completed all her chores, Callysra was allowed to wander around outside. As long as she was back by the time Aarina said, she was allowed to go wherever she pleased. No neighbors were nearby, only acres of woods.
On this specific day, Callysra had taken Onyx out to the woods, she intended to explore as long as she could, and then run home in time for her curfew. Onyx remained at her heels as she made her was through the thick trees and branches. Several times she slipped, but somehow managed to keep her balance. Something Callysra had found strange about herself was, no mater where she went, she never got lost. She always knew how to make her way home, as if there was a map in her mind she wasn’t aware of.

Callysra had never made it far from home, her forest adventures had always been cut short, but this time, she was going into the heart of the woods. After an hour of walking she stopped to take a drink from the water bottle Onyx was carrying around his neck for her. He was such a good dog.
After caught her breath and cooling off, Callysra moved forward. She wasn’t sure why she was heading in one certain direction only, but she wanted to go that way. The deeper they got into the trees, the more anxious she seemed to grow. As if Onyx could read her feelings, his fur stood on end and his ears were pricked forward, on the alert.


August 8th 1988, 7:30 pm.

Callysra was supposed to have been home half an hour ago, but she was nowhere to be seen. Aarina nervously checked the windows, and finally went to sit in the back yard to wait for the child. She had never been so much as a minute late, and Aarina knew she would never get lost. But something told Aarina she was in trouble, not just her lateness, but she could sense Callysra’s distress.
Finally Aarina could wait no longer, she had to go in search of the girl. As she pulled on her boots, barking startled a gasp out of her. Onyx ran into the backyard, barking viciously. “Onyx!” Aarina cried, then scanned the yard for Callysra. They had been separated. Onyx stopped barking only when he had reached Callysra’s heels. “Where’s Callysra?” Aarina demanded of the dog. Of course the animal could not reply, but Aarina was nearly out of her mind in worry.
Though they lived in a secluded area, covered by the woods, they weren’t always alone. She knew creeps lurked in the forest, and a young wandering girl, alone besides a dog, was tempting. As if Onyx knew what Aarina wanted, her ran back towards the forest and Aarina ran after him. She knew he would lead her to Callysra. As Aarina struggled to keep up with the dog, her mind raced. Even as a child, Callysra was powerful, though she didn’t yet know it. If something scared her, and her hidden abilities came forth, she was be frightened.
“Callysra!” Aarina yelled breathlessly. It was difficult to scream while running. “Callysra answer me!” she cried. Though the sun hadn’t yet set, the trees blocked the light and Aarina couldn’t rely on her vision. There was no time to worry about her cover, if something hadn’t already happened, something would, and the Kerea’s cover would be blown either way. Callysra would discover what she was, tonight. Without a second though Aarina Kerea whipped out her wand, “lumos” she hissed, giving it a shake. The tip of her wand illuminated the dark woods and she continued her search for her adoptive daughter.


August 8th 1988, 11:13 pm.

It had taken hours to make her way through the forest, but Aarina followed Onyx faithfully. The hunted through the dark woods, searching for the young child. Aarina’s mind raced with possibilities, but she snapped out of her muggle-like thoughts. Callysra was a witch, and though she didn’t know it, she would be able to defend herself.
When Callysra was finally found late in the night, her life fell apart. As she searched, Aarina called Callysra’s name. Hearing a familiar voice, Callysra abandoned her hiding place and ran towards the all too sweet sound. The sound of her rescue. But when she saw Aarina, and Onyx at her heels, Callysra screamed.
Aarina didn’t look like the woman she had grown fond of, that had cared for her. Aarina’s blue eyes seemed to glow in the pitch-black forest, and the stick she held out in front of her shined with an unexplainable light. Aarina didn’t look kind and caring anymore, she looked half mad and her features were cold.
The moment Callysra’s screamed shattered the silence, Aarina’s wand went out. “Callysra!” Aarina cried in relief, stumbling towards the child. “No!” Callysra wailed in terror, and began running back to her cover. Onyx’s barking caused the already frightful scene to become chaotic. “You’re not Aarina!” Callysra cried, horrified.
Woman and child raced through the suddenly noisy forest. Aarina called Callysra’s name. Callysra’s sobbed as she ran and stumbled through the trees. Onyx barked endlessly in all the excitement. Callysra tried to call off the woman, telling her to leave her alone, but the woman pursued her.

Aarina didn’t realize Callysra was heading back home, not until the child burst through the clearing and ran across the backyard and flung herself into the house. She spun around and locked the door, then stepped away from it, shaking in terror.
Aarina pulled at her door, “Callysra honey, unlock it” she said softly. Callysra’s eyes were as wide as they could get, she eyes the stick that hung loosely in the woman’s hands. She didn’t trust it. Onyx barked from the other side of the glass.
With a frustrated sigh Aarina swung her arm up and pointed her wand at the lock, with a quick flick of her wrist the door unlocked and she slid it open. Horror-struck, Callysra cowered against the wall, staring at Aarina’s wand in confusion. How had she done that with a stick?
Regaining control of her body, Callysra ran for it. She scrambled up the stairs as quick as she could, down the hall, through her bedroom door, and into her closet. She slid to the ground in her black closet and curled into a ball. What was happening?
Moments later she heard her bedroom door opening and she began sobbing. She was trapped, nowhere to run, her hiding place easy to discover, and very predictable. No one would save her now, she should never have left hr real home, no matter how broken it was, at least she was safe.

Realized she was frightening the child, Aarina regained her composure, hid her wand, and shed her cloak. How would she explain this to Callysra? After taking several deep breaths to calm her pounding heart, she opened the closet door and dropped to her knees. Callysra was curled up in the corner, sobbing hysterically. She was muttering under her breath, and Aarina could not understand a word of it.
“Callysra, baby, come here,” Aarina, crooned, holding her arms open. Callysra peeked over her arms and tried to make sense of the woman in front of her trough her tears. It looked just like the Aarina she had known for several months now, but it couldn’t be. “Cal, I swear I wont you hurt you, let me explain,” Aarina begged, desperately wishing she had hid her wand before stumbling upon the child.
“No!” Callysra sobbed, and covered her face with her hands. Aarina’s own yes filled with tears, she had only complicated this child’s life further, but that was beyond her control now. It would have happened sooner or later. “Callysra, please come out, please?” Aarina scooted backwards and stared into the dark closet. “It’s me baby,” she whispered.
Even though her logic told her to stay away from the liar, Callysra scrambled out of the closet and threw herself at Aarina with a sob. If this was the ending, the least she could get was some comfort. Aarina’s arms tightened around her small body and she was rocked gently whilst her sobs quieted.
Tears still streamed down Callysra’s dirty face when she pulled away from Aarina’s hold and scooted away. She stared at the woman’s face, looking for a trace of the woman she had seen earlier. But Aarina’s beautiful features were the same as the day she had met her. Her blue eyes did not glow; they just stared back at her sadly. Callysra took shuddery breaths, trying to make sense of what had happened.
“Why didn’t you come home?” Aarina asked softly, not meeting the child’s stare. Callysra took a deep breath, then the night’s events poured out of her between sobs. “I was with Onyx, in the forest. And then I felt like I was being followed. And first I thought it was you coming to find me, and I yelled that it wasn’t time for me to go back yet, but whoever was following me didn’t say anything. Onyx began to bark, and growl, and I stared running. I found a big tree, and it had a big hole in it. So I crawled inside of it and hid quietly. I could hear Onyx barking, and I heard a mans voice.” Callysra broke off with an ob and Aarina held her close once more.
It took longer for Callysra to regain her self-control, but she managed to, and continued her tale. “It wasn’t Xander’s, and there aren’t any neighbors. So I peeked out to see who it was. There were two men, and they were holding sticks, like the one you had. They were saying my name and shooing Onyx away. Onyx bit one in the leg and he fell down, and he started yelling. The other man kicked at Onyx and Onyx ran away. I thought the man would come after me, but instead he grabbed onto the man Onyx had bit and they… they…. Disappeared! And I know people can’t disappear! But they did, just into air!” Callysra continued crying, but she didn’t want Aarina’s comfort any longer, she wanted answers.
Aarina took several deep breaths, giving herself time to form an explanation for the child. “Remember that I told you there was something Xander and I had to tell you, but we would only tell you when you trusted us?” she asked. Callysra nodded mutely and Aarina continued. “Do you trust me Cally?” She asked softly. Callysra stared at the woman, her mind racing. Did she trust her? Could she ever trust her after tonight? She wondered.
At last Callysra gave a tiny nod and Aarina let out a whoosh of air. “Okay, that’s good, because honey, you’re a witch.” Aarina grimaced at her own words. What a way to break it to a child that she was a freak to the outside world. That everything she knew was about to change. She would never be the same, and Aarina had told her quite blandly.
Despite Aarina’s flat way of breaking the news, Callysra understood. In some way, some inexplicable way, it was as if she had known her whole life. She never knew what she was, or dreamt what she was. She only knew she was different. What a witch was? Callysra had no clue, but it seemed like an explanation to her weirdness.
“Do you know what a witch is honey?” Aarina asked, mistaking the look on Callysra’s face for confusion. Callysra shook her head, “does it mean I am different?” she asked in a small voice. Aarina couldn’t help but to laugh at her innocence. “Yes, it does mean you are different. Do you know what a witch is?” Callysra shook her head. “Are you a witch? Were those men witches? IS that why you all are carrying sticks that can do things? IS that why they disappeared?” Aarina laughed softly again, even though she had no idea what a witch was, Callysra pieced it together.
“Come here,” Aarina said, patting her leg. Callysra cautiously climbed into Aarina’s lap, still searching for signs that the woman she didn’t know would return. Aarina smiled at her warmly and kissed her forehead. “Yes, you are right, but those men were wizards, boy witches. Witches and wizards aren’t like other people, they can do things that regular people can’t. And those sticks are called wands. Wands are magical and can do special things if you use them right.” Aarina had never imagined what she would say to Callysra, she had always told Xander he’d be the one to do it. And now, she had no idea how to tell an eight year old about the magical world. Even though Aarina had no idea what she was saying, Callysra seemed to understand. “I’m a witch?” she asked with a small smile. Aarina nodded and smiled back, “yes you are a witch, and your mommy was too.”
Callysra’s gray eyes widened to an unbelievable size as she stared at Aarina. “My mommy was a witch?” she squeaked. “And my daddy?” she asked. Aarina shook her head, “no, just your mommy. Your daddy was a muggle.” Callysra frowned, thinking muggle was an insult. Aarina smiled reassuringly, “a muggle is what witches and wizards call a normal person. Someone who can’t do magic.”
Aarina was already beginning to wonder how she would explain the next part to the Callysra, but somehow the child seemed to know. “Is that why mommy died? Because she was a witch?” Aarina’s heat hammered in her chest, this child was so special. “Yes, something like that,” deciding she couldn’t say anything more of the child’s past, Aarina lifted Callysra out of her lap and stood up. It was difficult to stand with an eight year old clinging to her neck, but Aarina managed to make it to Callysra’s bed. “It’s late, so get some sleep. And tomorrow morning Xander will be home from work, and you can ask us both all the questions you want.” Callysra frowned in reply, even though she was exhausted, adrenaline kept her from feeling it.
“I’m not tired” Callysra said flatly. Aarina laughed and laid the child down on her bed gently. “You will be in a few minutes, now get some sleep.” Callysra frowned in disapproval. How could she sleep when she had just been told all of this? She wasn’t sure what it all meant, but she knew it was big and serious, and she shouldn’t be sleeping. But as Aarina pulled the covers up to her chin, her eyelids began to droop. Maybe a little nap would be good, and then she could ask all the questions. Before Callysra could protest anymore, she had fallen asleep.


August 9th 1988, 8:43 am.

Callysra jolted awake, gasping for breath. Her nightmare had felt so real, and she knew that just hours before, it had been. She felt guilty for not telling the complete truth, for trusting Aarina completely. But the whole truth of what had happened the night before just could not be told with words. Just like the previous night, in her nightmare Onyx had run off to get help, leaving her alone in that tree. One of the men had spotted her peeking out at them and they began closing in on her. They said her name, asking her to come out. She ducked back inside the tree, her mind screaming in defiance. She would not go with them. When she looked back out, confused y the silence, what she saw shocked her. One of the men was frozen in place, unable to move. The other had his stick pointing at the frozen man. “You thought you could play me” the man with the stick said, and then laughed.
Callysra had no clue what was going on, but before her mind could contemplate, a jet of green light shot through the trees and the frozen man crumbled to the ground in a heap. Callysra knew, somehow, that he was dead. With an angry cry the man with the stick bent down and touched the dead mans shoulder, then they both disappeared.
Just by the memory, Callysra was shaking all over. She couldn’t describe the emotions she felt, but she was sure they weren’t normal. A part of her was terrified by what she had witnessed, but another part made her want to learn all she could of the two men, so she could find them and get her own answers. But that was irrational. She was eight and there was no way she was going to hunt down two men, especially because they had been hunting her first.
Remembering Aarina’s promise that all her questions would be answered, she rolled out of bed and ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. Xander and Aarina were already awake and waiting for her. “Morning,” she mumbled as she sat down in her chair slowly. What questions would she ask? She hadn’t thought about that.

She didn’t have to worry about questions much longer, because Xander gave her a full explanation within minutes. “Your father, like Aarina told you, was a muggle. But your mother, she was a witch, but not only a witch, she was a pureblood witch. Born only from a wizarding family, and a very powerful one at that. When you were born she passed on her powerful bloodline to you, making you a half blood. Some pure blood families are better than others. Your mother’s family was one of them. Many people didn’t like them, or was jealous of them, and they did some bad things-“ When Xander hesitated, Callysra jumped in. She knew what was coming; he didn’t need to say it. “So they killed her?” Xander nodded and Callysra frowned and looked down at the tablecloth, studying its designs.
“Were those men coming to kill me?” she asked quietly, still looking at the tablecloth instead of her adoptive parents. “We don’t know, they could have been,” Aarina replied softly. Callysra looked up, “you’re both… witches, right?” she asked, and then blushed; “I mean a witch and a wizard,” se corrected herself. Aarina nodded and Callysra tiled her head, “did you know my mother?” she asked in a small voice.
Aarina smiled at the child, she was quick. She had guessed the next thing they were about to tell her. “Actually, we did,” Xander replied, and then turned to Aarina so she could explain to the child. He wasn’t very good with emotional topics. With a nod to Callysra, he stood up and left the room.
“Your mothers family, and my family, have known each other for a long, long time. Your mommy and I grew up together, we were good friends. Your mother knew how powerful her bloodline was, and she knew how powerful you would be, and before she had you she made me promise that any child she ever had, if anything were to happen to her she wanted me to watch after them. That’s why you’re here now.” Callysra shook her head in confusion, “no, I’m here because I ran away…” Aarina nodded, cutting her off. “Well yes, because of that you are here. But I mean that’s why you are in this house. Xander and I had no idea how we were going to bring you here, but when you ran away you gave us an easy opportunity, so nothing would be suspicious.” Aarina smiled at the child before continuing. “Your daddy didn’t believe in the magical world, he thought your mommy made it all up, and he never would have told you what you were.” Callysra brightened slightly, “a witch!” she exclaimed. She liked what she was; she liked having the evidence that she was different.
For a while longer Callysra asked questions about this magical world she was supposed to be a part of, it was fascinating, and she wanting to know everything about it. Pleased with the child’s knowledge Aarina began to explain something important. The school called Hogwarts.
Aarina explained that it was a school witches and wizards went to so they could learn all about the wizarding world. Excited, Callysra asked if she could go pack and leave. Aarina laughed at the child’s eagerness to learn, but continued explaining that she has to wait until she was eleven. Callysra’s spirits fell, more waiting. She was only eight, which meant she had three years to wait before she could go to the school, and that was if she was accepted, Aarina added. “But there’s no way the school would turn you down as powerful as your family is” Aarina assured the girl.


May 13th 1990, 10:42 am.

Ten year old Callysra was sprawled out on her bed, reading Hogwarts, a History. Xander had given it to her for her last birthday and she had immediately begun reading it. Only a short while remained before Callysra found out if she was going to the school, and she wanted to be prepared.
She spent most of her free time reading Xander’s old books about the magical word, and the more she read, the more she was fascinated. She could hardly wait to get her first wand, her first owl (she was positive she waned an owl), she spell books. Everything about the school excited her. There, she wouldn’t be a freak, she wouldn’t feel different.
Finally her bloodshot eyes could no longer take the small print of the book and Callysra slammed it hurt and tossed it onto her pillow. She had been reading for three hours already. She walked over to her mirror and stared at herself with a smile. She wondered if she should do anything with her hair. It was already past her waist, long and wavy. She had liked it when it was short maybe she would cut it again. She fingered her copper locks, arranging them neatly so they laid flat on her head. As she did, she smiled at herself. She liked the way she looked.
Even at the age of ten, Callysra had the promising looks of her lovely mother. Though her skin was pale, her cheeks had a natural rosy tint that never faded. Her gray eyes were neatly framed in dark thick lashes that nearly cast a shadow when they were lowered. Her lips, small but full, were also naturally tinted. Thankfully, she had no dimples. Callysra smiled in the mirror, proving to herself that her childhood dimples were truly gone. She had really hated them.
Her body also took after her mother. She was already 5’2, with long legs and a thin frame. She liked the way she looked and couldn’t wait until her facial features took on that of a teenager. She didn’t like the way they still resembled her childhood self.
Finally her hair had been fixed decently, so she walked out of her room and down the stairs to Aarina, who was surely waiting for Callysra to eat breakfast. “Morning dear,” the woman greeted with a smile, “have you been up reading all this time?” Callysra shot her a smile and nodded, they had already had this talk before, but there was no way Callysra was going to stop in the middle of a chapter, just to eat a bowl of cereal or some toast. It just wasn’t worth it.
After breakfast Callysra wandered into the backyard to read some more, this time with Onyx as a companion. She never went bear the woods again, not since that night, and since the backyard was parallel with the trees, she never went out into it alone. And she still had not told Xander and Aarina the complete truth of that night, but she suspected they already knew.

[Callysra Amex Kerea]

May 15th 1990, 2:32 pm.

After begging Aarina for a few minutes, Callysra had gotten her way. Her long hair would be chopped up. As Aarina went to get the scissors, Callysra fidgeted impatiently in her chair. She had the absurd urge to change her look completely. No more little Cally, she thought. She had two years of growing to do before she went to Hogwarts, and some changed needed to come with that growing. Starting with her hair.
As Aarina snipped at it reluctantly, Callysra smiled at herself in the mirror. She hardly paid attention to Aarina’s small lecture about how lovely her hair had been long. Callysra truly didn’t care. She was going to be a completely different person in a few years.
Lost in her thoughts of change, Callysra let out a whoosh of air. How far would she allow her changes to go? Her gray eyes took on a dreamy appearance as she stared at her reflection. She imagined being able to stand up for herself, and defend herself. She imagined being able to refuse something because she was against it, and being able to do anything for something because she was loyal to it. One this Callysra was sure of… se wanted a real friend. It seemed like such a silly thing to want so much, especially because the only friend she’d ever had, had been Katie. But Callysra had been young, she didn’t know what friendship was, she just wanted to play. But now, older and more mature, Callysra felt the emptiness of solitude. Though she didn’t mind long hours to herself, she still desired someone that would be there for her, just as she would for them. She wanted a cause to fight for, someone to fight for. Anything to prove she wasn’t just a broken girl anymore. She wanted to prove to everyone, and herself, that no matter what had happened in her past, she had overcome it, and become stronger and wiser.
For nearly an hour Callysra daydreamed about the person she wanted to be. It took Aarina a couple of tries before snapping her out of it so she could admire her new hair. “Cally, it’s done” Aarina said, nudging the girls’ shoulders. Her mind still on her daydreams, Callysra’s lip curled up in distaste, “please don’t call me that,” she said flatly, and then began to stare at her reflection.
Aarina was surprised at the girl’s reaction to her nickname. She had never had a problem with it before, what was going on now? “And why not?” Aarina asked in confusion. Callysra met Aarina’s blue eyes through the mirror and shrugged, “I just don’t like it anymore,” she replied. Aarina’s eyebrows shot up, “I can see that. Why don’t you like it?” Callysra sighed in annoyance. “Because. I. Don’t. Okay?” she replied, then took her mirror and left the room without a word of thanks, leaving Aarina stunned.
When Callysra reached her bedroom, she felt slightly guilty. She’d had no reason to have an attitude with Aarina, yet she had anyway. She knew that any moment Aarina would be coming into her room ready for a talk. A prediction, that was about to come true. Aarina’s footsteps sounded on the stairs and Callysra let out a muffled scream of frustration. Couldn’t Aarina just leave her be? If something was bothering her she always had to know what it was. Suddenly Callysra felt sick of talking. What if she didn’t want to share her every problem. What if she didn’t want to have this open air of trust Aarina favored? She could not just keep saying every feeling that came to mind. She had to put up a wall, keep some of herself secret.
Though she had no idea where this sudden need of secrecy came from, Callysra didn’t fight it. She had every right not to want to say everything she though. As Aarina opened the door Callysra’s mouth automatically opened for an apology, but no sound came out. She forced herself to be mute. She was polite, and good mannered, Aarina and Xander made sure of that, but what if she didn’t always have to be that way? What if for once she was just herself? Whoever that was…. Callysra was sure she could discover herself.
“Is there something wrong?” Aarina asked, arms crossed, standing in the doorway. Callysra took a deep breath to keep her voice leveled, then calmly replied “no.” Aarina clearly was not convinced. “Why are you lying to me?” Herr voice was intended to make Callysra talk to her, out of guilt. But this time it wouldn’t work. “I’m not lying to you, nothing is wrong. Things are actually very right.” Aarina sighed, what was going on with Callysra? She wondered. Was she going through some hormonal change that was giving her n attitude?
When Aarina took a step towards Callysra’s bed, Callysra knew she was going to settle in for a talk. “Look, I don’t want to talk, nothing is wrong. I’m going outside so I can think.” Without another word, Callysra called to Onyx, who leapt up from his resting place and followed her out the door, right past Aarina. They descended the stairs quickly and went out into the afternoon.
Only when Callysra realized she was still holding onto the mirror, did she remember her haircut. She examined her newly shortened locks in the reflection and smiled. Short hair looked much better on her, and even made her appear slightly older. She was beginning to like these small but apparent changes, and wondered what others she could make. Once again, she thought determinedly… She did not want to go to Hogwarts as a well mannered child, she waned to go as herself, with her own free will.


May 16th 1990, 7:49pm

Dinner had just ended in the Kerea house, and a big discussion was well on its way. Xander and Kerea sat beside each other, communicating in silence. Callysra sat across from them, the perfect image of defiance. Xander rarely did much with the child, he understood her need of independence, how she wanted to prove herself, but he could not say the same for his wife.
Aarina had been a spoiled child. Born into a powerful wizarding family that had no worries, she was naive to the world before she married him. Aarina meant well, her heart was in the right place. But she couldn’t understand how someone couldn’t just move on from a simple tragedy. She pitied and sympathized with Callysra, and that had worked for her childhood. But Xander saw more of the child than his wife. He saw the pain she disguised and transformed. He saw her yearn to prove herself, not only to him and Aarina, but also to her own mind. And right now he saw a child that was extremely annoyed with the trust Aarina expected from her. Aarina would just have to learn a different way of communicating, for Xander knew Callysra wasn’t going back now. She was changing, maturing, forming into her own self, and her childhood problems were talking their toll on the way she viewed life.

Aarina leaned forward and gave Callysra a pained smile. “Talk to us Cally, I’m sorry. Callysra,” she corrected herself for the third time that day. Callysra’s brows raised and she pursed her lips, but her response remained in her throat. Aarina turned to her husband for help, and was slightly hurt when he took Callysra’s side.
“Honey,” he began, placing his hand over hers. “Callysra’s changing right now and maybe we’ll just have to find another way.” Callysra thanked him silently, maybe he could get Aarina to ease off a bit. Aarina stared at her husband in confusion, “find anther way for what? Trust is the way we have always done things here, Callysra knows that.” Xander sighed and turned to the girl, “you may not want to talk with us, or her, anymore. But you’re going to have to do it this time to prove your case.”
Callysra held in a smile at his choice of words. With his encouragement, she gave into her unspoken words, her changes could wait one more night, and tonight she had to free herself from Aarina’s trust operation. “Nothings wrong, really, it isn’t,” Callysra began, her gray eyes focused in on Aarina’s blue ones. This would be the last time she spoke whatever she felt, she vowed.
“I don’t want to be the little girl I was when I came here. You’ve been amazing parents to me, and I can never thank you enough, but I want to find myself. I know you want me to trust you, and I do…. But I just can’t say every thought and emotion I have anymore. I want to really find me… the real me, not the pretending trustful girl I’ve had to be…” Callysra trailed off. Her voice was just moments away from cracking, and she was not going to cry. She desperately hoped that Aarina would understand what she had said, because she wasn’t talking anymore.
Xander studied his wife and kept his facial features clear of that “I told you so” look. At last Aarina let out a sigh, as if it had been forced from her. “Okay,” she surrendered. Though in her mind, trust was much easier, no secrets and no hiding meant no problems. “If this is who you are now than I have no choice but to accept that. But we’re always here for you, and as much as you may hate it you’ll always be that little girl to me. I’ll always remember you as a child, and forgive me if I forget and treat you like one.” Aarina’s eyes overflowed, why did it feel like she was letting go of the girl?
Callysra bowed her head in silent thanks then slid out of her chair. “Room,” was all she could mumble before escaping the emotion in the air and running to her room full of solitude. Would Aarina’s feelings be hurt? She wondered. She shook her head, dismissing the thought. It didn’t matter, this was the way she was and they had to accept it. She shouldn’t-t feel guilty or apologize, she had been honest.


July 26th 1990, 3:21 pm

In the sweltering heat, Callysra never ventured outside. In her childhood, she hadn’t minded the sun. But now that her wardrobe consisted of all dark clothing, summer was unbearable. Callysra now had an infatuation with black. She found it fascinating. It was all the colors in one, all the feelings in one. When she wore black she somehow felt hidden from the world, and it felt nice.
Sitting up in her bedroom, she had begun painting her toenails. She wiggled her toes and laughed a bit, they had fallen asleep and weird sensations were creeping up her foot. She gave her wet nails one last blow before setting them down on the floor. After admiring her crimson toes, she turned her attention to her long fingernails. She loved the way her hands looked. For being ten, she had long fingers. They were nearly as long as Aarina’s. She enjoyed keeping then long and pointy, and now, she enjoyed keeping them crimson red.
Five minutes later when she had finished painting them, Callysra carefully opened her door and walked out of her room. After checking to see if Aarina was in her room, which she wasn’t, she trotted down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. “Get them done?” Aarina asked absently, not looking up from the food she was preparing. Callysra nodded and held up a hand for her to admire. She gave them a quick glance and smile, “lovely, can you help me with dinner?”
When Xander returned home he gave Callysra a smile then kissed his wife. Callysra smiled back, something she very rarely did. Ever since he had stood up for her when she had begun to change, she had grown closer to him. Not close enough for loving things, like hugs and kisses, but close enough to return his smile and joke with him whenever she had the chance. “Work fun?” she asked, leaning on the kitchen counter. Xander rolled her eyes at the child’s sarcasm and gave a chuckle, “loads of it. In fact I had such a splendid time I almost didn’t come back.” They both fell into laughter and Aarina shook her head. She saw no point in sarcasm or jokes and never joined in. Instead she replied, “well then you can just go back and we’ll eat dinner ourselves,” in a flat tone. She had hoped it would stop them, but it had the opposite affect. Xander shrugged, “okay,” then walked out to the front porch, still chuckling.
Forgetting about helping Aarina with dinner, Callysra followed after him. “She’s in a bad mood?” Xander phrased it as a question and Callysra nodded, shooting a quick glance inside. “Ever since I said I wanted to change she hadn’t been the same.” She shook her head as she confessed what she noticed. “She seems so… edgy,” Xander nodded his head in understanding. “It’s not that she’s unhappy Callysra. It’s just that she can’t understand why you wanted to change.” Xander went on explaining that Aarina had never really known hardship like they had. Callysra nodded in response, “yeah I guess that makes sense. But she could be a little more accepting.” Xander laughed, “Aarina is more trusting than accepting my dear. She’ll get used to it eventually.”

````````````````````````````````````````````


July 1992, 1:35 pm.

The hot day found Callysra reading by the kitchen window, deeply involved in her book. If you had tried talking to her, she wouldn’t have heard a thing. And though it seemed like nothing could break her reading spell, the light knocks on the window beside her did.
She jumped in surprise and her book fell to the floor. Without stopping to retrieve it, she turned to the window to see what, or who, had knocked. A small fluffy brown owl waited patiently on the sill, an envelope tied to its leg. Callysra squealed in delight, immediately knowing what it was.
She yanked open the window and stared at the little bird in delight. It was a letter from Hogwarts. Callysra accepted the envelope from the brown owl excitedly, and without waiting, ripped it open. She could hardly contain her excitement as she unfolded the parchment and read the neat scrawl of handwriting.

Hogwarts School
Of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards.)

Dear Ms. Kerea,
We are pleased to inform you what you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl no later than July 31.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall,
Deputy Headmistress.



Callysra re-read the letter again before excitedly yelling for Aarina and Xander. She had completely forgotten Xander was at wok. Thinking something was wrong, Aarina ran into the kitchen a panicked expression on her face. Callysra held up the letter triumphantly, “I was accepted!” she squealed, and then bounced up and down.
Xander and Aarina had already told her about Diagon Alley, where witches and wizards bought all their things, and now she excitedly opened the list of things she would need to buy from there. But before she read it she looked up at Aarina, “how am I going to pay for all of his?” she asked with a frown. She hadn’t even read the first thing on the list, but she knew her school equipment would cost money.
Aarina smiled at her, “Witches and Wizards have their own type of money in their own bank, you inherited what your mother had, and it’ll get you threw your seven yeas with some to spare, so don’t worry.” Callysra smiled and then read the list of what she’d need excitedly. She had to buy clothes for the uniform, her books, her equipment, and she had to get herself an owl.
“When can we go to London?” she asked excitedly, re-folding the letter and placing it back inside its envelope. Aarina smiled, “we should make a trip tomorrow.” Callysra nodded, her nerves buzzing. It would be her first trip to Diagon Alley, and she couldn’t wait.


July 1992, 12:45 pm.

Traveling by floo powder was a freakish experience, one that Callysra wanted to try again. But there was no time to waste, after a trip to Gringotts, the Wizards bank, Aarina and Callysra set off down Diagon Alley to buy the things she would need.
As they walked Callysra took in her surroundings excitedly. The chaotic shops made her smile. Others around her age were shopping aswell. She tried to memorize a few faces; maybe she would see them at school in her year.
Aarina stopped in front of a shop named Madam Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions. “Go on in and get your uniform, then go to the store names Flourish and Blotts to get your books, I’ll get some of your other things for you, then we can meet at Ollivanders, you’ll see it.” Callysra nodded and waved to Aarina before ducking into Madam Malkin’s to get her uniform.
Twenty minutes later Callysra ran towards Ollivander’s, hr arms full of books. “I’m sorry” she apologized. “I lost track of time while I was at uh, Flourish and Blotts.” Aarina laughed, “I figured you would, that’s fine, find anything interesting?” Callysra nodded and help up two other books that weren’t on the list of things she needed.
“Let us get your wand now!” Aarina exclaimed, but Callysra didn’t need to be told, she was already stumbling into the shop excitedly. When she straightened up in the doorway she gasped. An immeasurable number of boxes covered the inside of the store, all containing wands; she guessed.

After being measured by a magical tape measurer, and studied by an old man with large eyes, the wand search began. Callysra tried different wands for nearly ten minutes before Mr. Ollivander crowed with delight at the swish of the billionth wand she tried. She had to admit; it felt right, much different than any of the others she had held.
Mr. Ollivander nodded, a tight smile on his wrinkled face. “Just perfect for you my dear” he announced, then snatched the wan back from her and placed it back in its box. “What is it?” Callysra asked, wanting to know what her wand was. “Willow and Phoenix feather, thirteen inches” Mr. Ollivander replied, then handed her the box with a nod, “it will suit you well.”
Her mind was still spinning slightly when she and Aarina walked back out into Diagon Alley. “Interesting man isn’t he?” Aarina asked dryly. Callysra sputtered with a laugh, but did not reply. Her mind was on her wand; she wanted to use it already.
“Ready to get your owl?” Aarina asked with a grin. Callysra nodded enthusiastically and set off at a run, though she had no idea where the shop was. Once inside the store Callysra’s mouth hung open slightly. There were numerous owls to choose from, and she couldn’t make her decision. “Which should I get?” she whispered to Aarina, not wanting to disturb the bird’s peace. As if the animals could sense her in decision they all hooted and fluffed up irritably. Only one came forward, and Callysra knew it was the one she wanted.
Five minutes later Callysra and Aarina exited the shop, holding a cage containing a barn owl. “What’ll you name it?” Aarina asked, studying the owl with a smile. Callysra thought for a moment, what would be the perfect name for her owl? She looked down at the animal and smiled. She may not know the perfect name, but the owls face reminded her own a ghost, o she settled on the name Phasma, but Callysra was sure the owl’s name would be demoted to Phaz.

With all her school supplies purchased, Callysra had the rest of the day to explore Diagon Alley with Aarina, however she was far more interested in asking questions about the School she’d never thought of. But Aarina beat her to it. “What house do you think you’ll be in?” Callysra shrugged, “I don’t know,” she replied. “Well what house do you want to be in?” Aarina asked. Instead of answering Callysra reversed the question. “What house where you and Xander in?” Aarina laughed, taking note of the fact Callysra didn’t reply to her question.
“Xander and I were both in Slytherin, as was your mother.” Callysra smiled to herself. That was the house she had dreamed of entering. The other three choices; Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff, didn’t seem to offer much… but Slytherin. Great wizards came from that house, great powerful wizards and witches. She would be one of them someday.
“So…?” Aarina pressed on, curious to know what Callysra wanted to be. Callysra looked up, a strange look in her gray eyes, “I want to be a Slytherin,” she said determinedly. She would make a great one, she was sure. Aarina smiled, “because y want to be or because your mother was one?” Callysra shot the woman an annoyed look. She had never wanted to do, or be, something just because someone else was. “I want to be a Slytherin because it’s the best house, and I think I’d do well in there.” Aarina nodded approvingly, she agreed. There was a slim chance that Callysra would be placed in any other house than Slytherin.


September 1st 1992, 7:15 am.

Callysra was already fully packed by the time the clock had struck seven in the morning. And now she was annoyed with herself. The train didn’t leave until eleven o’clock, which meant she now had extra hours on her hands, which she didn’t know what to do with.
After being out the whole night hunting, Phaz snoozed happily in her cage, unaware of the madness her owner felt. Callysra thought she would lose it, having to wait for so long. Her school books and equipment were all neatly packed in their own trunk, and all her clothes and school uniforms had been packed aswell. The only thing that remained out was her wand, which she had tucked into her black skirt. She rarely was anywhere without it. Though she couldn’t yet use it, its presence reminded her of what was to come, and what she had to strive for.
Callysra began pacing her room, carefully avoiding the creaking boards with her stockinged feet. She knew Xander was already at work, but Aarina slept until eight o’clock, and Callysra didn’t want to disturb her. Onyx, who had grown tired of her restless energy, had left her alone in the room. Her nerves were buzzing in excitement, and she couldn’t sit and read. She had to do something to keep her hands, and mind, busy. So at last she decided to dump out the contents of her clothing trunk and replace it all neatly.
Twenty minutes later Callysra had dumped out her trunk twice, and was sick of folding clothes. With a frustrated sigh she flung herself onto her bed and gazed up at the ceiling. By the next day she l no doubt be at Hogwarts, meeting others of her kind and getting familiar with the school.

September 1st 1992, 10:52 am.

Aarina couldn’t help but cry as Callysra hugged her goodbye. “If you don’t write to me child, you’ll be sorry!” she cried, though teasing of course. Callysra stepped back and gave her a reassuring smile, “no worries, I’ll write in my spare time, now stop crying!” Aarina laughed and wiped the tears away then gave the girl a kiss on her copper locks before giving her a push towards the train. “Go before you miss it,” she said with a weak smile. Callysra smile at her once more before turning and running towards the train.
Tears welled in Aarina’s eyes as she remembered the eight year old child that had first come to her. She had grown so much in herself, had gotten a personality, a voice. Aarina watched as Callysra gave her a last wave before ducking inside the train. This was it.
Callysra took a deep breath and then walked into the first compartment on her right. It contained a group of girls chattering excitedly. Before they noticed her she ducked back around the corner. Definitely not her crowd. She longed to find a compartment to herself, but she knew that wasn’t going to be likely.